Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Vincent VulgarVlad's musings

This is a snippet of something I'm planning on working more with. It's really a spin-off of sorts of a story I almost finished some years back. After going over my old writings, I realized it had too many errors to simply be edited, so I threw the idea in the trash. I recently thought it might be a better idea to just redo the whole thing, as I believe much of the original had great potential. It just didn't seem fair to throw away so much creativity, so here's just a small taste I whipped up in like an hour and a half.

I often find myself alone, lost in a deep thought. It’s the only way to achieve the closest thing to peace. But when I say closest, I don’t mean close at all. Which is more peaceful? Living among those who find immense pleasure in bloodshed as well as their own hatred, or resorting to isolation in an attempt to muse upon that which I could never fully understand? I’d rather endure the latter. At least it does not talk back. But then again, would I rather listen to Jagger’s rugged voice preach slime coated demands of how I should act, or lose myself in my own dangerous mind, where my unnerving curiosity threatens to drag me down deeper into those before unvisited spaces of my mind with each burning question, hoping to find answers somewhere unknown? Neither one is peaceful, so I continue on, my curse of thoughtfulness never promising me any quiet moments. This is why I’d rather be alone to let my mind overcome me. It’s not like I have a choice. Eventually I must give in, so at least this way my thoughts won’t mix with the voices of others around me. I can focus on them alone. And so it begins.

Hanging low against one of the tall castle walls, there is a wide mirror, located along the hall beside Jagger’s room. I have a habit of stopping for a moment while passing by to glance at myself. What I behold, I cannot describe in words aloud because I myself do not know what I see in my own reflection. This realization strikes more fear into my cold heart than my nature should allow. I begin to dwell on the subject of vampire reproduction and how I, along with others of my race came to exist within this world.

Through child birth the body is produced, though lifeless and dead. The baby’s appearance is that of something inhuman still. Its skin paler than the full moon, with gruesome fangs and features as sharp as a blade. Only through a mother’s bite is life given to these soulless creatures. The body requires poison to awaken that which the power of some God given source of life cannot. And while I speak of this Heavenly being so many of Melinda’s kind deem their maker, what then gives my kind the power to resurrect those born dead? It is Melinda who rules this realm with her magic spells bestowed unto her by something even more unfathomable. And is it not this mysterious God who gave Melinda her life? If so, is it then acceptable for her to turn away from that God and in essence, become one herself? If not, then am I to blame for my unlawful existence despite my desire to remain innocent, simply because I am from that which rebelled against God? Then why do I even believe I receive a chance at judgment? If I am not one of His creations, why should I? But, surely since the existence of my race spawned from the imagination of man, I too am linked to this God I know so little about.

These thoughts are what trouble me, but not solely. As I gaze into the mirror at my ghastly reflection, I am forever haunted by what I see. There are no puncture marks on my neck. Every vampire has a mark on their neck, as proof of that first bite of life given to them by their mother. It is what awakens us from the dead and keeps our shriveled hearts beating. But can I truly be called a vampire if I do not have this mark? If I never received such a bite, how then am I living? Does this mean that the same God who gave Melinda life gave also me a soul? If this then be at all possible, then how? Why me?

Thursday, May 26, 2011

Squirrelasaur Apocalypse (Sam's theory)

I decided to take a little break from my Prince Charming is a Liar story to share something I hope you will find pretty funny...only a little break! Teeny tiny! Promise I'm working on chapter 3! Cross my heart, hope to die, stick a needle in my - oh, you get it! Anyway, I was at the park with a close friend of mine and my little sister, when suddenly I noticed there were squirrels everywhere...then somehow I started to think about all these failed 'end of the world' predictions and...well, this big 'ol crazy idea just came to me. Read on, my loves!


The Squirrelasaur Apocalypse, also known as Sam's Theory, all started when Samantha Smith, the founder of this controversial idea, claimed to have received a sort of revelation from a mysterious rock she believes traveled many miles from a far-away galaxy only to warn her of the true cause of the end of the world, giving her the exact date it will occur, October 17th, 2028. It was revealed to Samantha that squirrels will eventually become so reliant on humans as their main provider of food that eventually violent outbreaks on humans will result among these animals. Further, the squirrels will eventually become uncontrollably aggressive, rabid, and blood thirsty that overtime evolution will kick in and the squirrels will become much larger, more dominant of a threat to the human race. Towards the end of the world, about a year before its impending doom, humans will already be hiding away in shelters, giving up all of their food supplies to the squirrelasaurs, driving them to resort to cannibalism.

Many people speculate that this revelation, due to the fact Smith believes it came through superior alien beings, in fact has nothing to do with squirrels or evolution, but that the aliens, through the rock, were warning all humans to prepare themselves for an extraterrestrial invasion. However, Smith has many times spoke out, claiming that squirrels will in fact play a huge role in the end of the world and that this was something greatly stressed when the alien stone spoke to her.

Sera Makin, close friend of Samantha and fellow follower, has stated that there was no doubt in her mind Sam's theory was anything but truth. Makin has played a huge roll in spreading this idea, believing she is doing the world a favor by, "sharing with them this most precious chance to stand up against these animals before it becomes too late." Smith and Makin are both strongly against feeding or becoming friendly with squirrels. They regularly set up strikes at local parks, posting signs and warning civilians of the consequences of spoiling these animals.


So there you have it! The truth - finally it is revealed! I am now going to gorge myself with chili dogs, so tootles! <3

Monday, May 9, 2011

Prince Charming is a Liar - Love Triangle

Dayna was parked outside the school, waiting for Clarissa to burst out of those front doors any second. She yawned briefly, having just woken up from a much needed nap. Finally, she could see Clarissa running towards the car with an ecstatic grin plastered on her face, dodging kids left and right. It was an amazing sight. Once those doors flung open, it was like a flood of children pouring out over the sidewalk. Clarissa managed to reach Dayna's car without being trampled. Once the duo arrived at the ice cream parlor, Clarissa viciously gorged down her hot fudge sundae with no pause to breathe in between bites.

"Slow down there, girly! What's your rush?"

"I just wanna go home and read over my lines. If I do really, really good, I'll get more parts and before you know it, you'll be checkin' me out on the big screen!"

Clarissa had received the good news earlier that day that she would be playing the lead role of Cinderella in the school's upcoming production of 'Prince Charming', an original little musical the kids put together about Prince Charming's conflicting love life. Clarissa had been talking about it ever since she got in the car and Dayna could already tell she wouldn't be done ranting on and on about it for a long while. She didn't mind, though. She loved kids and she sort of saw Clarissa as her own to share with Jasmine. She could be nothing but proud of her niece. After all, it is her job as the aunt to encourage nothing but the fun things in life. Fun and safe, of course. So she would make sure that Clarissa stayed on that high for as long as she could keep her there, full of confidence and drive.

"Ugh, the only downside to this whole thing is that Penny is playing Snow White. The script isn't finished, so no one knows who Prince Charming will end up with."

"Love triangle, huh?"

"Yeah...do you think I'll do good, Aunt Dayna?"

"Do I think? You could totally stink and it would all seem good to me. You can do no wrong, kid."

"Sheesh, can't I ever just get a straight answer from you?"

Dayna's eyes shot open and her jaw dropped slightly in mocking offense.

"Yes, I personally feel you will make a fabulous Cinderella."

The two shared many laughs, talked about nothing but the upcoming school play, and finally left the parlor with sticky fingers and full tummies. The rest of the day was spent mostly at home and when Jasmine came home from work, all three of them went out to Clarissa's favorite restaurant, The Pretty Pirate, for dinner. Dayna, not being a huge fan of sea food, saw it as bit of a sacrifice, but those are the things you do for family. Overall, they managed to make a Monday feel more like a Friday.


"Order's up, Dayna!" Ronnie, the cashier at the diner called out. Since it was another day off and she couldn't think of anything else to do with her morning, Dayna decided to stick around a little longer than usual and eat a nice plate full of bacon, sausage, eggs, and biscuits along with her usual coffee.

"How's life treatin' ya, sweetie?" Ronnie had been on vacation with his wife for 3 weeks, sort of like a second honeymoon to congratulate his son graduating high school and moving out to go to college, so it was time he catch up on the happenings of the regulars.

"Oh, you know...same old, same old. Clarissa's going to play one of the lead roles in her school's musical."

"Really? That kid's on her way to being the next big thing, I tell ya."

"No argument there."

Dayna sat at a table by the window while Ronnie went back to work. She noticed the same man sitting on the bench reading his morning paper like he does every morning. Or at least every morning she stops by. Liza had said that he only reads his paper in that spot on the days she comes, but Dayna found that unlikely. Chances are, Liza is just over reacting or making radical assumptions, which would be quite true to her fiery personality. She quickly turned away and continued chewing on her bacon. She found herself strangely day dreaming about the possibility of a secret admirer and for a moment, convinced herself that Liza was right and that he had been building up the nerve to stand up, walk across the street, and talk to her for some time. She quickly swallowed that idea along with a fork full of scrambled eggs. Though she told herself to stop, curiosity got the best of her yet again and she glanced back at the man and just then, he threw down the paper from his face and stood up from his bench. She snapped her head back in the opposite direction. Much to her surprise, he was walking up to the diner. Not that that was anything odd, because he has every right to come in and buy himself breakfast. No, nothing strange about that. However, what came next was almost unbelievable.

"Hello." Dayna Slowly raised her head to see the man standing right over her.


"I don't mean to bother you, but I've seen you here before. You usually don't stay around long, though. So, I thought I'd take advantage of that."

"Oh, you're no bother! Really! My name's Dayna." She held out her hand for him to shake.

"Dayna, my name is Lucas." He shook her hand firmly and boldly kissed it, making her blush. Though she tried her best to conceal it, she couldn't hide the big, cheesy grin that accompanied it.

"I want to ask if you'd like to get coffee with me sometime, but I feel like that would be a bit dumb, considering that's what you're doing right now. So, how about dinner?"

Dayna was stunned at the sudden interest Lucas was showing in her. Liza was right, apparently. He had been watching her for a while.

"S-sure! Sounds great!"

"okay, meet me here tonight at 7?"

"Oh, well I was thinking more like exchanging phone numbers and planning a date, but that works too, I guess."

"Well I've sort of been waiting a while to catch you when you weren't busy, so waiting any longer just seems nonsensical to me. What do you say? Are you free tonight?"

"Yes, yes I am."

"Great. I'll see you tonight, Dayna."

And just like that, he was out the door. She didn't move for a while, she was completely speechless about everything that had just occurred. She had never seen a more straight forward approach from a man in her life, and she liked it. Finally, she smiled brightly, brushed her straight, dark hair behind her ears and finished up her last piece of bacon. It was going to be a good day, she would make certain of it.


Author's notes:

Alright, it's starting to come together! You can probably already sense the subtle fairytale elements in there. That will continue throughout the story and eventually play an important part in tying in the moral at the end. It will be fabulous!

Thursday, April 14, 2011

Prince Charming is a Liar - Heroes and Villains

Everyone has a story to tell. Every step you take is a sentence, every moment a paragraph, and every day a new chapter. Some stories last longer than others, but the ending is always unique. The best stories are the ones that keep you guessing - a twist ending that no one ever sees coming. Yes, everybody has one.

"Dayna! Dayna, you left your purse!" There came running Liza, the waitress from the diner she had just finished her early morning coffee at.

"Oh, I'm so sorry. I'm so scatter brained, not a great way to start the day, right?" She laughed half heartedly at her mistake and took the purse from out of Liza's hands.

"Sure you weren't just distracted, honey?" The middle aged waitress gestured in the direction of a man sitting on a bench across from the diner who was pretending to read the morning newspaper.

"That man's been watching you, Dayna. You can act like you haven't noticed, but I know you've been checking him out yourself."

"Come on, he is not watching me. Look, he's just reading the paper and minding his own business."

"I see things you don't, sweetie. Every time you look away, he's peeking up at you. It ain't just a coincidence that you only find him sitting on that bench reading his morning paper on the days you come around for a cup of coffee. You should go say something to him, girl!"

"Not happening...at least not today. I gotta run my niece to school, but maybe I'll have the guts Thursday morning after you come by the salon and let me get my hands on that hair of yours!"

"We'll see who cracks first!"

Dayna's painted red lips formed a wide grin as she hopped into her car and headed off to meet her niece. She lived only about seven blocks away from her sister's place and drove her niece, Clarissa, to school every Monday morning. She was half way up the stairs of the apartment complex when Jasmine and Clarissa came rushing down to meet her half way.

"Ima be late!" Jasmine spouted out dramatically as she pushed her daughter forward, gripping the girl's arms tightly so she wouldn't trip over her own feet.

"Well good morning to you too, Jazzy!"

"Thank the ever lovin' heavens you're here. I gotta stop by the store and buy mascara. I forgot I was all out." Jasmine bent down and gave her daughter a kiss on both cheeks, exaggerating the loud smacking sound on each one.

"I love you, baby, have a good day at school."

Dayna rolled her eyes playfully.

"You know, you don't need mascara."

Jasmine leaned in closer to her sister as if she didn't want Clarissa to hear what she was about to say.

"I do if I want to catch myself a man. God knows I could use someone around here to help me out with Crissy, since her real dad wasn't up for the job. She's going to be a teenager soon. If you remember the amount of stress I put mom through when I was that age, you should understand why I'm so desperate at this point."

"Hey, you know I'm always here."

Jasmine tilted her head slightly, her face formed into a mocking pout.

"Aww, so sweet. But you know what I mean.."

"I know, I know. I just think you're super beautiful with or without mascara."

Jasmine just shook her head, flashing a bright, genuine smile.

"I really gotta go. Love you."

She stood up to give her sister a thankful hug before waddling off to her car in a pair of red, 4 inch heels.

"Alright, you ready for school?"

"As ready as I'll ever be..."

The two headed back towards Dayna's car parked across the street.

"Mondays used to be my least favorite day when I was your age, so how about we get some ice cream when I pick you up later? You know, give us both something to look forward to."

"Hell yes!"

"Whoa, check you out using big girl words!"

The two shared a laugh together as the car slowly edged through traffic. Clarissa was quite a sharp 12-year-old with a gift for comedy. She always brought a smile to Dayna's face when her day was otherwise lacking anything to be happy about. After about 15 minutes, they reached their destination. As Dayna pulled up to the school, Clarissa sighed heavily.

"Come on, it's not that bad."

"It is when you have to deal with a dumb blonde named Penny who thinks she's some kind of goddess all pretty in pink every single day."

"Ah, I get it. Ya know, now is probably the time where I should give you some big lecture about being kind to everybody and turning the other cheek..."

Clarissa started to slam her head against the back of the car seat repeatedly, bored of hearing that same old spiel.

"she's just soooo annoying!"

"Hey, calm down. I was going to tell you that your grandmother used to tell your mom and I that life was like a great big story. She said every person in our lives was a character that played an important part."

"Yeah, well she'd be the villain."

"Yeah, for now. Trust me, you'll have plenty more and much worse villains introduced in your story, but you know what the rule always is with the bad guys?"

The middle schooler thought on the question for a moment before answering.

"They never win..?"


Clarissa smiled wide and reached over to give her aunt a loving hug before hopping out of the car.

"Love you, girly. I'll see you after school!"

"Love you, too, aunt D.! Don't forget the ice cream!" The girl waved as she walked up the steps to the school, a large green backpack weighing her down. She was a bit small for her age, but then again, kids these days seem to come in all sorts of different shapes and sizes. Dayna paused for a moment, contemplating what she would do with the rest of her morning. She didn't have to be at the salon until Wednesday and she couldn't think of any other responsibilities she had for another 6 hours or so. It was such a beautiful, sunny Monday morning. The birds were chirping, the sound of echoing car horns were floating through the air as impatient business men and women forced their way through traffic. Yes, she decided to go home and do what she always does on her days off of all priorities...



Author's note:

This is just the first chapter to what was originally meant to be a single short story. However, upon plotting the entire story out in my head, I realized that it needed to be lengthened a bit in order to really work as an interesting tale. All that you have just read above probably seems very ordinary and quite possibly on the verge of boring. I'm warning you, it will seem that way for a while. BUT if things go as planned and the story flows the way I imagine it all unfolding in my brain, you'll want to keep on trudging through the chapters. If the opposite occurs, well, I've already put this out there, so there's no turning back now.

Sunday, March 27, 2011

'Make It Snappy' update!

The other night I was searching my room for an appropriate outfit to wear for the next morning, preferably one that when I have to perform a tragic fall in front of an audience of youngsters for a game of charades, in order to teach them a lesson on serving others, my skirt won't ride up and the kids won't think I'm trying to get them to guess "full moon." Suddenly, I thought to myself, wouldn't it be cool if there was this little dude inside each of our brains that sang songs relating to events taking place in our lives? Like, say you cheated on a test - this little guy in your brain starts singing a terribly sad, depressing song about the consequences that will most likely follow your terrible decision. Pretty awesome, right? And while you're seeing all this, no one else around you can, so when you start screaming and telling that little dude to shut up and stop singing, everyone looks at you like you've gone totally loopy!

I know, I know...get to the point!

Well, I started to write a little tale about some kid who used to have an imaginary friend, Lorenzo, but his evil imaginary brother, Hernando, came seeking revenge on the boy all because Lorenzo had flushed his deck of cards he used to play old maid with down the toilet when they were younger. Also, Hernando hated Go-fish. However, the whole thing just wasn't coming together...it lacked a spark and was genuinely panning out to be quite a boring, pointless mess. Stuck and unwilling to post the thing, I decided to trash it. It's been sometime since I've sat down and even looked at my blog, but with good reason! I haven't exactly been in tip top shape as of late, though I feel incredible as of now. I have recently overcome some nasty food poisoning and now that my mind is fully functioning once more, I feel inspired to add another short story to my blog. It might take me some time in my thinking chair to conjure up something good enough to share, but I'm working on it! Focus is my biggest struggle. Usually, once I get something really good cookin', I get so excited I pace around the house for a while, which proves to be nothing but a big fat waste of time. So, just thought I'd leave an update for now, in case someone out there is reading this! I have not given up on you or dropped dead somewhere!
But I really must go now and get to sittin' on my thinking chair, so ta ta for now!

-- S.S.

Friday, March 25, 2011

Help me help myself!

Here I am, wide awake at 4AM. I think I have a problem. In fact, I know I have a problem. I used to be able to tame these random outbursts of sudden creative juices, but now - now I can't seem to patch up the leak and keep them from flooding out of control. And this all just has to happen at 4 in the friggin' morning. Stories, ideas, in depth dialogue, playing through my mind as I pace around my room in a contemplative fashion. While the rest of me - mind and body - wants to call it a day and hit the hay, that itty bitty part of me, growing larger and more consuming, feels it's time to come out and play.

...Wow, did I just rhyme? Heh, what can I say? I'm a natural!

Anyway, the problem with all of this (besides the fact that it's 4 in the freakin' morning!) is that I can't seem to focus on one thing - one thought, story, genre, whatever you want to call it. I know I want to write something, do something...I just can't figure out what that something is! I can't decide! I know I have my whole life to share every last one of my wacky musings with the world, but I can't even keep it focused! It's almost like part of my own mind is getting some sick pleasure out of torturing me! It wakes me up with an overwhelming amount of inspiration, then when I finally give in, it suffers from stage fright and suddenly isn't in the mood anymore. Ah, the curse of writer's block! Except, it's not writer's block. The problem isn't that I can't think of any good ideas - I have too many good ideas and that's the problem here! They all individually tend to blur into one big idea that just wouldn't be right all jumbled up into a single story...

hmm...or would they? >;)

I'll get back to you on that...

-- Sammy Wammy

Oh, just for fun, check out Batman's hair envy!

Tuesday, March 22, 2011

The Rainbow Prince is fabulous!

Ah, childhood memories...my best source for inspiration! When I was a wee one, one of the things I enjoyed the most was pretending I was a super powered royal from a far away galaxy. I called myself the Rainbow Princess. I had many different abilities, each relating to the individual colors of the rainbow. Now, this princess was not an only child. Nope, sir, she had a brother! The Rainbow Prince. I don't honestly think much more has to be said for you to understand why I decided to poke harmless fun at this particular figment of my past imagination, so without further introduction, I give you...


July 17th, 2029

Ugh, I hate this day with every fiber of my perfectly stunning being! My loving father seems to think it's that time in my life to take the next step and marry some dumb bimbo. Apparently, he's getting at that age where he could start farting chemical gasses at anytime or whatever. Gross, like I have time to care for another person, I mean really! I can barely keep up with maintaining my own natural flawlessness, let alone take my gaze away from the mirror long enough to pay any sort of attention to some needy tramp before my public begs me to stand in their presence. And then there's sir Oinks-a lot, daddy's favorite go-to, get the job done-doer. He's nothing but a glorified court jester, but he's much too simple to see it - or anything past his massive gut, really.

"we've picked out the most beautiful women from all over space for you to choose from!"

What a fool, I guess he really can't see anything past his jello belly, and before I was simply exaggerating out of sheer annoyance towards the pathetic man. I mean, puh-lease! That one girl's hair...talk about frizz city! And another one, I swear she had more muffin tops than a charity bake sale! Anyone of those attention hungry broads would too easily be out shined by my breathtaking glow and shimmer. And there he goes again, barking like the sad, pathetic sideshow freak he is,

"what about Lady Supernova!? She's the most desired woman in all the galaxies!"

Um, yeah, I got a good look at Lady Super-saver alright, in her thrift store bargain get-up! Now, I don't have a lot of "bros" or whatever those middle class hobos call it - in fact, I don't have a lot of "homies" in general. That's the price I pay for being so royally fabulous. I find my life much easier without them. No distraction or priorities other than what's really important - me. However, if I did hang around a lot of other guys, I'd be surprised if any of them found this piece of trash who mistakenly compares herself to a supernova, as anything but utterly tacky. Father is always breathing down my neck,

"save all the glitz and glam for your sister!"

As if she deserves all the fun and I should do nothing more than sulk in my thrown all day, pouring all of my gold and silver over to my wife who gets to go out and spend it all on making herself up to look even half as tantalizing as I do now. What about me?! Why must I be the one he thinks deserves to suffer a life deprived of pricey fabrics and blinding jewels?!

Ugh, I hate this day!