Thursday, May 26, 2011
Squirrelasaur Apocalypse (Sam's theory)
I decided to take a little break from my Prince Charming is a Liar story to share something I hope you will find pretty funny...only a little break! Teeny tiny! Promise I'm working on chapter 3! Cross my heart, hope to die, stick a needle in my - oh, you get it! Anyway, I was at the park with a close friend of mine and my little sister, when suddenly I noticed there were squirrels everywhere...then somehow I started to think about all these failed 'end of the world' predictions and...well, this big 'ol crazy idea just came to me. Read on, my loves!
The Squirrelasaur Apocalypse, also known as Sam's Theory, all started when Samantha Smith, the founder of this controversial idea, claimed to have received a sort of revelation from a mysterious rock she believes traveled many miles from a far-away galaxy only to warn her of the true cause of the end of the world, giving her the exact date it will occur, October 17th, 2028. It was revealed to Samantha that squirrels will eventually become so reliant on humans as their main provider of food that eventually violent outbreaks on humans will result among these animals. Further, the squirrels will eventually become uncontrollably aggressive, rabid, and blood thirsty that overtime evolution will kick in and the squirrels will become much larger, more dominant of a threat to the human race. Towards the end of the world, about a year before its impending doom, humans will already be hiding away in shelters, giving up all of their food supplies to the squirrelasaurs, driving them to resort to cannibalism.
Many people speculate that this revelation, due to the fact Smith believes it came through superior alien beings, in fact has nothing to do with squirrels or evolution, but that the aliens, through the rock, were warning all humans to prepare themselves for an extraterrestrial invasion. However, Smith has many times spoke out, claiming that squirrels will in fact play a huge role in the end of the world and that this was something greatly stressed when the alien stone spoke to her.
Sera Makin, close friend of Samantha and fellow follower, has stated that there was no doubt in her mind Sam's theory was anything but truth. Makin has played a huge roll in spreading this idea, believing she is doing the world a favor by, "sharing with them this most precious chance to stand up against these animals before it becomes too late." Smith and Makin are both strongly against feeding or becoming friendly with squirrels. They regularly set up strikes at local parks, posting signs and warning civilians of the consequences of spoiling these animals.
So there you have it! The truth - finally it is revealed! I am now going to gorge myself with chili dogs, so tootles! <3